DEAR MILLY,
Our son who is 15 has expressed desire and determination to have a sex change operation to become a girl. He obsesses about it. He has demonstrated an interest in cross dressing for several years, but we thought it was just a curiosity phase he was going through. Unfortunately, we don't really support his desire, because we feel that he doesn't have any idea of the consequences he will have to face if he pursues this fantasy.
Our son also suffers from ADHD and mild autism spectrum disorder. He is on medication for these diagnoses, and cannot function without the medication. He is socially inept with his peers, very immature and has no friends. He shuns social situation; when he is put in a situation with his peers, he will always do something that brings negative attention on himself. He is in counseling now; however, it does not seem that counseling is having any effect. He is disruptive within our family - always creating friction among his siblings. He has a very low self image and makes very poor choices in almost ever area of his life.
We are desperate to know how to help him. We love him dearly but feel powerless to help. What is the best approach to take for our son?
- DESPERATE TO HELP
DEAR DESPERATE TO HELP,
I feel the frustration and pain between the lines of your note. Your have taken a courageous action by speaking up and seeking for answers. Undoubtedly you will be led to a "grayer area" as to what's really going on within your son's inner world.
I spoke with a professional member from the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, and he recommended that I watch Our America with Lisa Ling - Transgender Child: A Parent's Difficult Choice, originally broadcast on the Oprah Winfrey Network. I'm posting it here in hopes that it will be a first small step in helping you figure out what you want to do.
My advice is based on my life experiences. From them, I have learned that an open mind is the greatest tool we can arm ourselves with. It has always been the best first step for any challenge I have faced. Remember - these things take time, but if you can give yourself the gift of an open mind, you will already have started to help your son.
Love and Life,
Our son who is 15 has expressed desire and determination to have a sex change operation to become a girl. He obsesses about it. He has demonstrated an interest in cross dressing for several years, but we thought it was just a curiosity phase he was going through. Unfortunately, we don't really support his desire, because we feel that he doesn't have any idea of the consequences he will have to face if he pursues this fantasy.
Our son also suffers from ADHD and mild autism spectrum disorder. He is on medication for these diagnoses, and cannot function without the medication. He is socially inept with his peers, very immature and has no friends. He shuns social situation; when he is put in a situation with his peers, he will always do something that brings negative attention on himself. He is in counseling now; however, it does not seem that counseling is having any effect. He is disruptive within our family - always creating friction among his siblings. He has a very low self image and makes very poor choices in almost ever area of his life.
We are desperate to know how to help him. We love him dearly but feel powerless to help. What is the best approach to take for our son?
- DESPERATE TO HELP
DEAR DESPERATE TO HELP,
I feel the frustration and pain between the lines of your note. Your have taken a courageous action by speaking up and seeking for answers. Undoubtedly you will be led to a "grayer area" as to what's really going on within your son's inner world.
I spoke with a professional member from the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, and he recommended that I watch Our America with Lisa Ling - Transgender Child: A Parent's Difficult Choice, originally broadcast on the Oprah Winfrey Network. I'm posting it here in hopes that it will be a first small step in helping you figure out what you want to do.
My advice is based on my life experiences. From them, I have learned that an open mind is the greatest tool we can arm ourselves with. It has always been the best first step for any challenge I have faced. Remember - these things take time, but if you can give yourself the gift of an open mind, you will already have started to help your son.
Love and Life,
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