DEAR MILLY,
I have struggled with what I see as a very addictive personality since I can remember. It started the first time I was in the hospital at 17 years old, and I started to get addicted to pain meds they gave me in the hospital. I spent my 20s in a drug induced fog, covering up pain and escaping reality. I have always tried to analyze myself and continue asking myself why I do this. What is so crappy in my life that I need to escape it? I never had an answer besides just being addicted to the feeling.
When I reached my 30's, I moved away from the scene. I guess you would call it going sober for a couple years. But, now I still struggle with prescription medicine. If I know a friend or person who takes a certain speed (aderol) or pain killer (vicodin), I will soon, in my sneaky addictive ways, end up with a few pills in my pocket. I don't have to have it but if I know it is around or easy to get then I will get it.
Another big thing in my life is feeling that I am living a very hypocritical life, in the sense that I am involved in positive organizations and I preach to people on how to stay motivated and how to live a healthy life, but at the same time I will turn my back and self-distruct. I feel that if I can control and fix my addiction then there will be endless amounts of motivation behind me in the organizations that I am part of. I do see great potential in myself.
I live in guilt. I always have. Well, lets start there.
-ADDICTED TO PILLS
DEAR ADDICTED TO PILLS,
Having the courage to admit the battle you have been dealing with is a KEY step towards withdrawing from it.
Your addictive personally has something to do with drug residuals stored in the fatty tissue of your body, causing your pill cravings. The fact that you are also addicted to your guilty conscience leads you to add more residuals into your body, in order to numb the pain of self-destructing your "great potential."
The good news is: you do NOT have an addiction yet. Which means that NOW is a crucial time to build up your self-trust.
Here are a few key actions to help you start turning your behavior patterns around:
1) Keep expressing your pain to someone you respect – getting outside help
2) Stay away from friends who lend you a hand with pills (whether they mean to or not) – breaking the cycle
3) Focus on one or two positive organizations so that you can harness your passion to help others – enhancing quality of life
Love and Life,
I have struggled with what I see as a very addictive personality since I can remember. It started the first time I was in the hospital at 17 years old, and I started to get addicted to pain meds they gave me in the hospital. I spent my 20s in a drug induced fog, covering up pain and escaping reality. I have always tried to analyze myself and continue asking myself why I do this. What is so crappy in my life that I need to escape it? I never had an answer besides just being addicted to the feeling.
When I reached my 30's, I moved away from the scene. I guess you would call it going sober for a couple years. But, now I still struggle with prescription medicine. If I know a friend or person who takes a certain speed (aderol) or pain killer (vicodin), I will soon, in my sneaky addictive ways, end up with a few pills in my pocket. I don't have to have it but if I know it is around or easy to get then I will get it.
Another big thing in my life is feeling that I am living a very hypocritical life, in the sense that I am involved in positive organizations and I preach to people on how to stay motivated and how to live a healthy life, but at the same time I will turn my back and self-distruct. I feel that if I can control and fix my addiction then there will be endless amounts of motivation behind me in the organizations that I am part of. I do see great potential in myself.
I live in guilt. I always have. Well, lets start there.
-ADDICTED TO PILLS
DEAR ADDICTED TO PILLS,
Having the courage to admit the battle you have been dealing with is a KEY step towards withdrawing from it.
Your addictive personally has something to do with drug residuals stored in the fatty tissue of your body, causing your pill cravings. The fact that you are also addicted to your guilty conscience leads you to add more residuals into your body, in order to numb the pain of self-destructing your "great potential."
The good news is: you do NOT have an addiction yet. Which means that NOW is a crucial time to build up your self-trust.
Here are a few key actions to help you start turning your behavior patterns around:
1) Keep expressing your pain to someone you respect – getting outside help
2) Stay away from friends who lend you a hand with pills (whether they mean to or not) – breaking the cycle
3) Focus on one or two positive organizations so that you can harness your passion to help others – enhancing quality of life
Love and Life,