DEAR MILLY,
I have recently found myself getting closer to God and more spiritual due to changes in my life that I know I need to make. With that said I have a brother and we have went down some very similar roads in life and alot of them aren't the right roads. I have extended an invite to my brother to start down that path with me and I have invited him to go on a mens retreat. He did agree. Over the past week I have been sending him, my mom, dad, and sister emails letting them know how I have spiritually grew. I haven't got much feedback besides my sisters. Me and my sister have been looking for a plane ticket to get my brother here for the retreat. Meanwhile I have told my mom and my brother to look as well. Neither one of them have looked. I just recieved an email from my mom saying that maybe I need to back off from my brother with my spiritual thoughts because I may be scaring him. It's very very frustrating for me and I know it is for my sister. Any thoughts, Dear Milly?
- MR. OOPS
DEAR MR. OOPS,
Although you and your brother have shared parallel rough patches in the past, you two have obviously grown up and apart in many ways. Being invited to the man's retreat with you will be an eye opening opportunity for him. However, whether he attends the retreat, and whether it becomes a turning point in his life is not up to you.
When you are not ready to give your whole self to someone, as a brother, mentor, trainer, parent, provider, caregiver . . . you will most likely end up pulling yourself backwards.
You make it sound like your family is purposely ignoring your good intentions to help your brother get on with his life. Your mother and your brother's hesitancy is a clear stop-sign. If you can see that stop sign and are willing to listen to it, it will keep you from pushing your brother too far, because only he can decide his pace and direction. Just remember, no matter what, you will be dear to your brother forever.
So the moral of the story is: it's time for you to back off. If your brother doesn't choose your path, you must fill that "empty spot" with self-love and endless self-assurance. And if your brother does join you, welcome him with open arms. After all, God IS love!
Love and life,
I have recently found myself getting closer to God and more spiritual due to changes in my life that I know I need to make. With that said I have a brother and we have went down some very similar roads in life and alot of them aren't the right roads. I have extended an invite to my brother to start down that path with me and I have invited him to go on a mens retreat. He did agree. Over the past week I have been sending him, my mom, dad, and sister emails letting them know how I have spiritually grew. I haven't got much feedback besides my sisters. Me and my sister have been looking for a plane ticket to get my brother here for the retreat. Meanwhile I have told my mom and my brother to look as well. Neither one of them have looked. I just recieved an email from my mom saying that maybe I need to back off from my brother with my spiritual thoughts because I may be scaring him. It's very very frustrating for me and I know it is for my sister. Any thoughts, Dear Milly?
- MR. OOPS
DEAR MR. OOPS,
Although you and your brother have shared parallel rough patches in the past, you two have obviously grown up and apart in many ways. Being invited to the man's retreat with you will be an eye opening opportunity for him. However, whether he attends the retreat, and whether it becomes a turning point in his life is not up to you.
When you are not ready to give your whole self to someone, as a brother, mentor, trainer, parent, provider, caregiver . . . you will most likely end up pulling yourself backwards.
You make it sound like your family is purposely ignoring your good intentions to help your brother get on with his life. Your mother and your brother's hesitancy is a clear stop-sign. If you can see that stop sign and are willing to listen to it, it will keep you from pushing your brother too far, because only he can decide his pace and direction. Just remember, no matter what, you will be dear to your brother forever.
So the moral of the story is: it's time for you to back off. If your brother doesn't choose your path, you must fill that "empty spot" with self-love and endless self-assurance. And if your brother does join you, welcome him with open arms. After all, God IS love!
Love and life,
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